With due respect to all my loved ones; my parents, my parents in laws, my husband and my brother.
I am 30+ in my age and am still not able to get the answer of this basic question. I was born in a home and was happily living there with my parents and my brother. We used to call it "humaara ghar" and I always assumed it was mine with my books, dresses and dolls. Even funnier, i had my doll house as well in my house. Suddenly my parents realized that i am in proper age to get married and was married off at the age of 24. My mom told me"beta ab wo hi tumhaara ghar hai". My mother in law told me "now this is your house". I said "ok". Like every girl changes her house at this stage, i am also changing and this is a pretty normal thing to happen.
I was and I am happily married to the love of my live with 7 years of happy and successful married life, a cute happy daughter, extremely caring in laws. I wanted to be with my parents on 1st diwali and i was not feeling at home. I cried in alone but as this was my house i could do nothing. I have some special bihari taste in food but as i am married to a UP family, i have forgotten that taste. Accidentally if i happen to meet that taste, i feel so homely. When i decide for something i always have the fear that my decision or suggestion might get rejected not because i may be wrong but may be because my thought process need not match with my husband's or my in laws. So, i have started avoiding making decisions in household matters and leave it more on my husband and in laws. This definitely doesn't mean that i do not make any important decisions. But i go into that mode only when it is really required for me to do that else i go with everyone else's view.I do this just because i do not want any unnecessary conflict. When i have to go to my parent's place(which was actually my house few years ago) i have to discuss it with my husband and i can go only when he is also convinced. Again, this is in no manner to say that he is bossy, he will surely agree for me to go. But i thought that this was my house and i can just tell everyone that i want to do this or i want to eat this and things will work as per me as it used to in my parent's house.
So again i started thinking, may be my parent's house was my real house and this is just one of the society's spread out myth that after marriage your inlaw's place is your house. I was living happily with this assumption again as i knew that i actually have a house.
One day my parents and my brother were is some problem, i wanted to help them, reach out to them. I said i am coming to my house. My brother said "You have your family to take care. You take care of your house. We will manage "our" problem."
All my notions went for a toss. My assumptions failed. I actually have no house at all :(
I am 30+ in my age and am still not able to get the answer of this basic question. I was born in a home and was happily living there with my parents and my brother. We used to call it "humaara ghar" and I always assumed it was mine with my books, dresses and dolls. Even funnier, i had my doll house as well in my house. Suddenly my parents realized that i am in proper age to get married and was married off at the age of 24. My mom told me"beta ab wo hi tumhaara ghar hai". My mother in law told me "now this is your house". I said "ok". Like every girl changes her house at this stage, i am also changing and this is a pretty normal thing to happen.
I was and I am happily married to the love of my live with 7 years of happy and successful married life, a cute happy daughter, extremely caring in laws. I wanted to be with my parents on 1st diwali and i was not feeling at home. I cried in alone but as this was my house i could do nothing. I have some special bihari taste in food but as i am married to a UP family, i have forgotten that taste. Accidentally if i happen to meet that taste, i feel so homely. When i decide for something i always have the fear that my decision or suggestion might get rejected not because i may be wrong but may be because my thought process need not match with my husband's or my in laws. So, i have started avoiding making decisions in household matters and leave it more on my husband and in laws. This definitely doesn't mean that i do not make any important decisions. But i go into that mode only when it is really required for me to do that else i go with everyone else's view.I do this just because i do not want any unnecessary conflict. When i have to go to my parent's place(which was actually my house few years ago) i have to discuss it with my husband and i can go only when he is also convinced. Again, this is in no manner to say that he is bossy, he will surely agree for me to go. But i thought that this was my house and i can just tell everyone that i want to do this or i want to eat this and things will work as per me as it used to in my parent's house.
So again i started thinking, may be my parent's house was my real house and this is just one of the society's spread out myth that after marriage your inlaw's place is your house. I was living happily with this assumption again as i knew that i actually have a house.
One day my parents and my brother were is some problem, i wanted to help them, reach out to them. I said i am coming to my house. My brother said "You have your family to take care. You take care of your house. We will manage "our" problem."
All my notions went for a toss. My assumptions failed. I actually have no house at all :(
